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About Deviant Member I love you...jk,go die in a caveFemale/Bulgaria Groups :iconadopt-a-sp-pairing: Adopt-A-SP-pairing
Mainly South park yaoi pairings
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I barely had 4 hours of sleep last night and right now I feel like shit. I've been chugging coffee like nobody's business all morning, which is just a heart attack waiting to happen.

Anyone have a remedy for insomnia I could try?
  • Watching: Hey Arnold!
  • Drinking: Coffee
I can already feel the unwatch button on my page being raped beyond imaginable.

But that's alright, because people have been unwatching me for no reason, even when I don't post or submit anything. I just watch my watch list get smaller and smaller and while that does make me question myself, I can't force people to like me. It's their choice and I respect that.

With that being said, currently, there's a huge controversy over Shane Dawson and his current apology video concerning "blackface". I've had so much on my mind that I wanted to type and I know it will cost me a lot of watchers, but I want to share this. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone or bore you to death. Feel free to just unwatch me, like most people have, since I'm not worthy, apparently.

I've been a Shane Dawson fan for years, but I can't say I'm a huge fan. I'm recently discovering some of his old videos and for this I blame YouTube and its constant changes. I get creepypasta videos recommended to me all the time, but no Shane for years? Yeah, thanks. I guess it's my fault for not figuring out the settings early enough.

So here's the skinny-Shane made some videos pretending to be several african-american people, thus, painting his face black. I haven't seen said videos, since he deleted them, so I can't be expected to take a side. I'm also white, so, again, I have no idea what it's like to be the victim of racism, right?


I'm Bulgarian and Bulgaria has always been Europe's bitch. We're like Russia's alcoholic, fake, commie, ugly step-sister and not only do most people assume that we're just like the Russians, we get hated on because we're also, supposedly, filthy ugly gypsies.

(No offense, just quoting.)

So, yes, a lot of people, after finding out that I'm Bulgarian, decided that they don't want to talk to me and called me disturbing names which I plan not to quote. Also, I may not be african-american, but Bulgarians used to be slaves to the Turkish back in the days, so I can understand, even if a little bit, what it feels like.

Do I hate the Turkish? No. Do African-americans hate white people nowadays? No. In fact, African-Americans are amazing. I've often been called a "wigga" for admiring them so much as a race-they're talented, gifted, beautiful and hot as Hell-I really wish I was African-American sometimes. Now, before you call me racist, I want you to re-read these last few sentences. I don't hate anyone based on their colour/gender orientation/religion/style.

Shane Dawson has been a youtube celebrity for almost 5 years now and has made us laugh and cry with his skits, personal videos and short films. Now, while I was being a bitch and ignoring youtube, apparently, he made videos impresonating african-americans and painting his face black, which apparently hurt many people.

To which, he had this video made:

While I can't fully voice an opinion, seeing as how I haven't seen these so called offensive videos, I can say this:

Shane is NOT racist. I don't know him. I've never met the guy in my life and I probably seem like an idiot or a fangirl defending this, but hear/read me out:

I've been watching his videos for many years. He focused on topics like addiction, eating disorders, depression and suicide. It's true that he embodies many stereotypes for the sake of comedy and making people laugh, but it's never been an issue, until this whole blackface "trend" came upon us.

And I know that I will never truly understand how african-americans feel when someone does this, but I also know this: Shane is a good person and would never truly try to hurt anyone. He makes videos with hopes of making people laugh and he's been there for many of us, when we've had bad days. He's kind-hearted, sweet and good-natured, even if his comedic ways are more "South Park"-like, however, as another youtuber has stated (Onision) -comedy hits a lot of nerves. Again, I can understand people feeling hurt, but in comedy-it's either everything goes or nothing goes at all. Once you start apologizing for one thing, you'll have to apologize for something else you've done, and so on and so fort. While I have to admire and agree with Shane's apology (it shows that he's a very good person for admitting and owning up to his supposed mistakes) Onision also makes a very good point-would South Park apologize for making fun of Canada? Would Family Guy apologize to the Jewish? No. Would Chris Rock, one of my favourite comedians ever apologize to a white guy if he painted his face with foundation and stereotyped us? Nope. Again, call me racist if you want, but I don't think Shane was trying to offend anyone. There's a line between imitation and hatred, so, if Shane has to apologize for impersonating a black person, then Hell, he might as well apologize to me and all my fellow nerds out there for creating his Ned the Nerd character. Hell, what about his own Mom? He made his Mom character into an alcoholic bitch and did anyone protest? I'm sorry, I truly would never try to offend someone, but I think people need to chill. I know what it's like to be hated and trust me, it's nothing like any Shane video. Here's a nerdy litttle tit-bit, back in the early 1950s, a Looney Tunes cartoon featuring Bugs Bunny was banned because it featured Bugs Bunny dressing up as an african-american slave. If a cartoon, with multiple writers and artists can be so offensive to the public and mess up, can't a guy who is tip-toeing in adulthood make mistakes? Be the bigger person. During your life, have you always said and done the right thing? Was there never a time when you made an inappropriate joke or offensive remark?

With all of this said, I wanted to remain silent. I don't have a Google+ account and I won't make one, hence, I can't comment on Shane's video, but if he could read it, I just want him to know that he has my full support. I admire him for apologizing and I thank him for the laughter he's brought to my life. If anyone could forward this to him, at least I hope he would know that someone out there supports him. Then again, he might find it creepy, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise for him to not have a devi account.

Also, again, side note, I really do love all races and I judge you only based on your personality. Nice people are colourblind.

Love you all and sorry for the ramble,

~Thea, the Bulgarian bitch that no one likes.
  • Watching: Hey Arnold!
  • Drinking: Coffee always, sorry to spam. How can I resist though? I love memes!

Tagged by the wonderful Missus--Cellophane

1. You must post these rules

2. Each person has to share 10 things about themselves

3. Answer 10 questions asked to you and invent 10 questions your tag(s) will answer.

4. Choose 10 people +put their icons on your journal.

5. Go to their pages and inform them they have been TAGGED! ( Yeah, I'm not going to do that ^^' I don't wanna bother people, if they want to do this, then they'll do it.)

6. Not something silly like: 'you are tagged you read this'.

7. You have to legitimately tag 10 people. ( I barely talk to 4 people on here, so I can't. )

8. No tag-backs

9. Can't say,no tag. 

10. Everyone that has been tagged must make a journal entry.

What makes a Thea tick:

1. I'm addicted to coffee :3

2. I really love cartoons, even though I'm old :P (and I'm a total dork, but that much is obvious).

3. I have problems sleeping, I'm somewhat an insomniac.

4. My imagination is really out of control, especially when I listen to music. I can always picture a story behind a favorite song.

5. Writing is my way of coping with my emotions, positive or negative.

6. I don't get along with my mother and grandmother most of the time :/

7. I'm deadly afraid of heights.

8. I can be very sensitive and over-protective of myself and the people I care about.

9. If it wasn't for my girlfriend Lola, I don't know where I'd be right now. Love her to death <3

10. Rob Paulsen is still my biggest role model and I can only dream to one day be half as talented and amazing as he is ^^.

Questions for lil' ole me:

1. Are you a 90's kid?

Yep :)

2. If you have four pencils and seven apples, how many pancakes fit on the roof?

Well that depends on the colour of the apples and shapes of the pencils, my dear.

3. Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, what will I do to it forever?

Kick it, I need a good beating! I'm not a very good girl, I'm afraid ^^'

4. Do you like comics/manga?

Love them!

5. How impressed are you with the current state of your art/writing/whatever thing you do?

Not very :/ I'd say I'm average at best, but that would be complimenting myself. Fudge it, I just flat out suck.

6. If I was a pretty flower, would you sit and talk to me?

Of course.  ^^

7. Yes, that was a song lyric. No, this is not a question. But this is; Why is a raven like a writing desk?

I'm sure there's a good response to this, but the first thing that came to my messed up mind is that they both have a very nostalgic feeling to them?

8. What genre of movies/games/books is your favorite?

Books-horror, movies-anything that can make me cry and games-mostly online RPG ones, currently hooked on 9Dragons.

9. What are the contents of your backpack/purse/pockets/wallet (only need to do one)?

My mp3 player, notebooks, mirror, hairbrush, perfume and a Stephen King book ^^

10. Do you make decisions with your heart or with your head?

Mostly with my heart, which has led me down many times. I try to learn from my mistakes, but I just can't :/


1. What's your favourite eye colour?

2. What is the one thing in the world that you simply cannot stand?

3. And the one thing you can't do without?

4. On a scale of 1/10, how drunk have you gotten in your life?

5. What is the most important thing in your life right now?

6. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

7. Let's say you had a twin. Which one of you would be the evil one?

8. If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be? (Just one!)

9. If you took over as God and were given a chance to create the world all over again, what would you change in it?

10. And lastly, how in the Hell do you stay so awesome???

Love you all! Thanks for putting up with me,


PS. I tag:

  • Watching: Angry Beavers!
  • Drinking: Coffee
Sorry for bitching and whining, guys. I know no one comes here to listen to a supposed "adult" moan about her problems like a spoiled teenager. I promise I'll do better and stay away from the internet when I'm depressed.

So please, forgive me. I don't have much to say right now, except, well, I'm in a writing mood. Maybe I need to focus on making an original story rather than sulk.

On that note, I'd like to ask you all, what do you qualify as a Mary Sue? I'll post my rant and opinion later on. What kind of character drives you nuts with their annoying existance?

Much love, stay awesome

So my sis and her baby are gone, now the apartment seems so empty :( if it wasn't for Lo, I'd crack. I miss them very much. I guess it's just my nature, as I've told some of you, I'm planning on having a baby in the future and I guess my motherly side is taking over me.

Another huge fight with my family, I think my mother truly hates me. I'm not in a good place right now and I just hope I don't relapse and do something stupid. Other than that, in a few weeks I'm back at work, at least there I can find some peace. I swear my family makes me wish that I'm dead.


Fandom I choose: 

-South Park

1. The character I first fell in love with:

Umm...the adults are morons and the main characters are like 9-10. None?

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do:

3. The character everyone else loves that I don't:

4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
Pip. He's so adorable!

 The character I used to love but don't any longer:
No such character.

6. The character I would shag anytime:
....dude >.> They're just little kids!

7. The character I'd want to be like:
Kyle or Stan. (Although everyone says I'm just like Stan, they even keep calling me that >,< )

8. The character I'd slap:
Bebe for that "List" episode.

9. A pairing that I love (OTPs):
Kyman. Yep. Years around here and I'm still sticking to it!

10. A pairing that I despise (NOTPs):
I learned to love pretty much all pairings.

I mean, dude, I hated Style, but now I swoon at Style moments.

I blame you, you sick mofos.

11. Favorite character:
Kyle Broflovski.

12. My two favorite characters:
Kyle and Kenny/Mysterion.

13. My two least favorite characters:
Clyde and Bebe, I guess?

14. Which character I am most like:
Stan, according to my friends.

15. My deep, dark fandom secret:
....I ship everyone with everyone. Yeah, I've gone to the darkest side where gender and age do not matter.

So, does anyone wanna RP? I promise I'll do my best :)

~All my love, Thea
I barely had 4 hours of sleep last night and right now I feel like shit. I've been chugging coffee like nobody's business all morning, which is just a heart attack waiting to happen.

Anyone have a remedy for insomnia I could try?
  • Watching: Hey Arnold!
  • Drinking: Coffee


amIdeadnow's Profile Picture
I love you...jk,go die in a cave
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Characters created on another planet by MeglifKaddy

Thea. Bisexual. Love my friends and would do anything for them; currently dating and living with the most beautiful girl in the world. Not much of an artist, a wanna-be writer, but an art appreciator. I'm doing my best to be nice and help, if you're rude to me, I'll either ignore you or just respond in the same manner.

Feel free to look around if you want and hey, talk to me, I'm usually friendly :)

I post songs that reflect my mood, thoughts or I'm just currently stuck on. Atm, this is pretty much what's going on inside my head:


Halestorm-Daughters of darkness


We came to battle baby
We came to win the war
We won’t surrender
Till we get what we're lookin for
We're blowing out our speakers
There goes the neighbourhood
A little scissor happy
Little misunderstood

We can turn you on
Or we will turn on you

Daughters of darkness
Sisters insane
A little evil
Goes a long, long way
We stand together
No we're not afraid
We'll live forever
Daughters of darkness
Daughters of darkness

Daughters of darkness

We're all survivors somehow
We just broke out the pack
And I don't need no dogtag
My name is on my back

We can turn you on
Or we can turn on you

Daughters of darkness
Sisters insane
A little evil
Goes a long, long way
We stand together
No we're not afraid
We'll live forever
Daughters of darkness
Daughters of darkness

Daughters of darkness

Never down
Never out
Playing hard
Living loud
Keeping up
With the boys
Making out
Making noise

And you better get me home
Before the sun comes up...up...up

Daughters of darkness
Sisters insane
A little evil goes a long, long way
We stand together
No we're not afraid
We'll live forever
Daughters of darkness
Daughters of darkness
Daughters of darkness
We’re the daughters of darkness
Daughters of Darkness

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Pokechan13 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave. ;)
thergothon Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the favourite :-)
fantreasureplanetljs Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
myINQI Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm too late, I know... currently working on my residues. So now:
:iconbedanker: on Knoblauchsland by myINQI :hug:
amIdeadnow Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014
You're very welcome :) Thanks for the llama!
myINQI Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Pajunen Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the :+fav:
ninjawolfleader Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Student Photographer
Hey, havent spoken in a bit, what's up?
amIdeadnow Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
I know, I'm sorry! It's exam month and I'm trying to juggle school and work. How've you been, what's new? :)
ninjawolfleader Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Student Photographer
I just re-read this message and saw "im in juggle school and work" and im like wheeetttt

Im working now!! :D
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