Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Member I love you...jk,go die in a caveFemale/Bulgaria Groups :iconadopt-a-sp-pairing: Adopt-A-SP-pairing
Mainly South park yaoi pairings
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 470 Deviations 7,859 Comments 33,875 Pageviews

Random Favourites

Beautiful things people can do <3

:thumb183626636: Kyle - South Park Stamp by nniikkiii Stamp- South Park by Maderz screw you guys stamp by InvadorJessie Mysterion Stamp by ginacartoon They've killed Kenny Stamp by irreplaceablemartina
I support Kenny stamp by mikuruofdoom Stamp - South Park: Kenny by AmyJSmylie House of Night Stamp: Damien by Emberpelt
Damien Stamp by koisnake SP: Pip by CrescentNine Yakko's World Stamp by Crimsongypsy1313
Stamp collection by KawaiiSteffu Warner trio stamp by CillaIsInTheSellar Wakko fan Stamp by SnowWhiteShadow
:thumb85438787: The Phantom Of The Opera Stamp by MaydayKoigo Phantom addicted STAMP by lonewined
:thumb85437133: Red Goth Stamp by NowellsStamps Goth: Midnight by skinnyveestamp
Depression Support by secretladyspider Bipolar Stamp by Spikytastic Transgender Stamp by TrainerKelly
:Gay Rights: by Minty-Hippo STAMP - Gay NO disease by Draguendo Gay BFF Stamp by sewreel
As a Christian, I Support by Worldincoffee Give Peace a Chance Stamp by GoodiesForYou free love by AmbreMarine
Bisexual Pride. by RahRahRachie Bisexual pride by abstract-dreamer I'm bisexual. STAMP by Cute-Polly
Stamp Ville Valo 04 by DieNaerrin ville valo's lovers by DaughterOfTheRain Ville Valo Stamp 4 by bebelushabv
Sick of Hate Stamps by yotaka Missed the Point Stamp by In-The-Zone Protected by Vampires stamp by purgatori
STAMP: deviantART is... by djRimzi I Support SUPPORT Stamp by bizarrostamps :thumb147813527:
Takeover Stamp by JetProwerTheFox I Support...My Friends - Stamp by Zooky
pluto:STAMP: by XxdarknayruxX Writers Stamp by shadow-wolf-haunts Anti Sparkle Anti Twilight by ShadedSorrow
Love Vampires Hate Twilight by jocund-slumber Twilight obsession by akrasiel Twilight Stamp- by Plus-x-Minus
It's My Journal Stamp by urnightmare .:Unhooded Kenny Stamp:. by ParadoxPandah I Support South Park Yaoi by StanxKyleFan
:thumb51070368: :thumb144128356: Stamp- We love Wendy by Maderz
.:Goth Kids V2 Stamp:. by ParadoxPandah .:Ike Stamp:. by ParadoxPandah SP Goth Stamp by JLGribble
Kyle Stamp by isnt-it-wonderful TWEEK'S HAIR STAMP by Lyssy-The-Fox KyleCartman Stamp by HorseWithWings
SP: Dip Stamp by CrescentNine SP Satan Stamp by JLGribble
Kenny stamp by Okami-Moony Kyle fan stamp by kylefanstamp1 South Park: Like my hair? by Hiddenryu
South Park: Like my hair? by Hiddenryu SP Jew Stamp by JLGribble ::..TweekStamp..:: by NyuNyuPuppet
I was a goth before u by StampCollectors Epica band stamp by hmryz
Epica stamp by GuardianOfShigeru Storm Stamp by soulshelter Love Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
I Love You Stamp by MissBezz Phantom of the Opera Stamp by slayerchick303 coopnremernomnomstamp by StupidLittleCreature
I came to this City... by Dragon-of-Midnight :thumb180528747: NTACSSS: B-CNJ :Stamp: by Circe-Baka
i love my rp partner stamp by drathe .: Stamps OC :. by Seppyo SP Angel Stamp by JLGribble
DX stamp by SilverWolf117 Some People Are Gay Stamp by Pooz18 Classic DX Stamp by laprasking
:Jeff Hardy: by Queen-Vegeta69 Stamp 06 by Frobie-Mangaka Stamp 07 by Frobie-Mangaka
Jeff Hardy Fan. -Stamp- by MidnightLunatic Jeff Hardy Fan Stamp by VegetaNiko :thumb145143311:
:thumb143874706: DX Stamp by DannyCat-X3 Jeff Hardy Stamp by Firing-Mar
Legends of Wrestling Stamp by 2Die2 Stone Cold 3:16 Stamp by leadervance CM Punk Stamp by AndrogynousOne
:thumb168207481: WWE Kane stamp by RavenxAlmasy TNA Stamp by laprasking
:Shawn Michaels: by Queen-Vegeta69 WWESTAMP 01 by Frobie-Mangaka HBK Stamp 1 by laprasking
Superpowers by prosaix .: Read the comments :. Stamp by Beti-Kot agree to disagree stamp by SanguineJustice
Within Temptation stamp by purgatori Sarcasm Stamp by tailfeather
I Support...My Friends - Stamp by Zooky Stamp Insanity by Trasgo01 Internet Dies Stamp by In-The-Zone
Stamp by chukacha Stamp by Nephthys-magic Stop That Stamp by Blackshadowbutterfly
My Younger Self Stamp by invader-zim-14 :thumb56764681: Yaoi Stamp by Clockwerk-chan
Weird Stamp by Kojima2087 ::Insomniac Stamp:: by Sora05 Winter Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
Fangirl Stamp by BowChickaBowWow Thankful Stamp by JunkbyJen :thumb43429491:
Music Stamp by The-Hamlets :thumb124043328: I Support Imagination stamp by c3ph31d
:thumb64716054: Demons Stamp by kageru-hinoryu
Rain Stamp by Bubel-Coyot Jack Stamp by Sinister-Starfeesh :thumb91728718:
Evanescence Stamp by Erameline Hypno Stamp by leadervance Snape stamp by iruhdam
Depression Stamp by SparkLum Death Note Stamp by Neyjour Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged Stamp by xSweetSlayerx
Sasuke Stamp by WiiplayWii Disturbed Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
Original Characters Stamp by nitchzombie
Love Stamp by LadyQuintessence The Game Stamp by Kezzi-Rose I swear a lot - stamp by Noiry
Meaningful comments stamp by dazza1008 Yaoi Stamp by cacell I Love Eyes Stamp by Sugargrl14
Gravitation Stamp by jibirelle gravitation by lucianag .Gravitataion. by XAyakoX
Eiri Stamp by Tatianasaphira Gravitation stamp. by Kamishu NoSub  Yuki Eiri stamp PLZ by yashamaruPL
Hiro Stamp by DayDreamerAmyAnn Shuichi Love by iluvwrath Gravitation Stamp by Colhan3000
Monthy Python by SirvanaRachana The End of The World by Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me Meat lover by prosaix
SP beats FG stamp by Hallerpl I love night stamp by coolmaggi Stamp: I Love SP Slash by Luffy-Kun
Slash without hurting the gals by SA948-Stamps Slash - Stamp by jibirelle Slash Stamp by fluffy-the-wolf
CanonxOC Slash Stamp by FallenAngelAerith :thumb183626636: KyleCartman Stamp by HorseWithWings
Da Stamp - Human Rights 01 by tppgraphics Love Is Love by Jon-Boys Metro Kenny Stamp by Swamperts
Stamp - South Park: Kenny by AmyJSmylie South Park yaoi fan-stamp by Cesar-sama
South Park yaoi fan-stamp by Cesar-sama Gay Friend Stamp by iHeartNathanKress They've killed Kenny Stamp by irreplaceablemartina
CartmanWendy Stamp by MissMune South Park Stamp by umbrehla South Park: Respect my authority by Hiddenryu
i would be sooo happy by StanxKyleFan HumanKite Stamp by ginacartoon SP- Accountabilabuddies Stamp by fangirl-harvest
.x.Loveless.x. by Arytha-Ryu Soubi teh Pedo Leech Stamp by Skryntarr yuri stamp by Morbia
Crazy Sasuke fangirl by RockRaven-LG You Are Not Alone by centric-prometheus Bullying Destroys by VampireCherry
Sasuke stamp by Konyhyuga-sama :thumb101815116: :thumb263318716:
:thumb290266407: Support Warner siblings stamp by Angi-Shy :thumb290421435:
:thumb294019478: Never take life Seriously... by ReverieSummoner :thumb336452406: Love doesn't care by Demachic Characters created on another planet by KawaiiSteffu


Yep, I'm still around and I'm sorry if I've been a bad friend to any of you. Work and school have been piling up on me, but I'm online every single day and I'm here for you guys, should you want and need me :) With that said, basically, the point of this journal, for once, isn't about me, it's about you.

How have you been and what's going on with you? I feel like I've lost touch with so many people on here and I'm sure it's my fault, because I'm a terrible person, a bitch and an asshole, but I mean it, from the bottom of my heart, I do care about you. Just....letting you know, if you're still watching me, I do appreciate it. To my friends, I've been awful and I would fly to wherever you live and beg for forgiveness if I could. The best I can do is this lame journal entry. are you? And I mean it, how are you REALLY? Because I can bitch about my problems online and you've put up with my shit long enough, I want to be there for you as well.

Be honest and if you don't want to share with the world, drop me a note. I WILL reply as fast as I can.

And I really love you guys. Don't ever change, you know who you are :)

All the hugs in the world,

  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: Beyonce-Pretty Hurts
  • Reading: Flowers in the attic
  • Watching: Rugrats
  • Playing: With my friends, we're just one big orgy
  • Eating: Air
  • Drinking: ALL THE BOOZE...jk, water.
Anyone willing to add me? Anyone?
Ok, so first and foremost-thank you all for being so kind and patient with me. Yes, I'm finally out of the hospital and raising a glass (of water, sadly, I'm afraid my beer drinking days are over) to staying home and going back to what I love doing the most-working and annoying all of you wonderful, awesome people with my long and boring journals.

It's raining in good ole Bulgaria and I'm not clear to go out during bad weather, so I'll be responding to your messages and notes properly today. Before I get to that of course, a little ramble, which you might feel free to skip, as it's just as nerdy and dorky as you would expect. Beware.

So, while I was hospitalized, I didn't have my own room-since over here, we don't get private rooms and cheerful nurses tending to our needs, we get swamped with at least two more patients, sometimes of the opposite sex, who are just as bored and troubled as you, so they normally spend their time staring at your tiny, yet apparently interesting enough breasts, while thinking over the meaning of life and such-I was lucky enough to get a room with just one more girl, who could care less about me. She kept playing music to pass the time, instead of focusing on my anatomy and one of the songs she abused was "All about that bass" by Meghan Trainor.

I preffer rock, metal and alternative, but I do have my pop and hip-hop guilty pleasure songs, plus, I've come to terms with the fact that if I'm in a club, it's more likely that I'll be dancing to Ariana Grande rather than Aerosmith or Guns and Roses, mainly because 1-that's what's been playing on MTV and 2-the clubs I visit are for young people, not old farts like me and I don't belong in them anyway-but back to my original point, I learned to tolerate music outside of my personal taste. So, yeah. It might've helped that I was high on painkillers while listening in the hospital, but All about that base grew on me and got stuck in my head.

I saw nothing wrong with it. It seemed cheerful and nice enough, minus the whole "skinny bitches" part. Now, don't get me wrong-I don't hate skinny people. I don't hate curvy or bigger people either. Hell, I consider myself pretty fat, especially after doing absolutely nothing for almost half a month, but I've made peace with it. Beauty comes in all sizes and I don't normally care about anyone's size. I used to be obsessed with my weight (actually, I think I still am; the first thing I did, coming home, was to hit my scale and then start working out) which has a backstory of its own-as a kid and teen, I was always extremely skinny. Once I hit 19 however, I started gaining weight, so I began dieting and exercising, until it turned into a problem. Eventually, I was told to basically grow the fuck up and enjoy life as I am, but sometimes I feel tempted to just skip a meal or just go out running, even though my back is still hurting. So, as a troubled adult, a song about embracing your curves seemed alright to me-but apparently, I'm missing something.

The whole "bringing booty back" trend which is going on recently, not just with Meghan, but a lot of artists like Nicki Minaj and J-Lo seems to be causing a lot of controversy, mostly with thin people, who online are reffering to this as "thin bashing". Looking over this, I get it-when I used to be a skinny kid, I hated people calling me names like anorexic or bitch or stick-figure just because my metabolism was fast. Now I feel somewhat confused. I don't think people should be made fun of whether they're thin, average or plus-size, everyone should be free to feel pretty in their own skin and happy with what they are. It's a bit of a shame that most of these popular artists are taking a good message and simply screwing it up with lines like:

"Fuck them skinny bitches, fuck the skinny bitches in the motherfucking club."

Sorry Nicki, but we can't all afford ass-implants, nor do most girls want to. If you want an ass-eat and work out properly, but hey, that's just my opinion. I'm a total nobody and people could care less about what I find attractive. I just...ugh, can't we all get along??

Inspirational songs are hard to find these days. I still can't get All about that base out of my head and I have mixed feelings about it. Here's basically everything everyone dislikes about it in a nutshell:

"I'm bringing booty back"-hon, booty never left. And my opinion-the Hell is your deal, you're not even fat and my ass is bigger than yours, how are you bringing it back?

"Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that." she then goes ahead and claims that she's just kidding, but the thin people still feel offended.

"Boys like a little more booty to hold at night." feeling good about yourself based on what the opposite sex thinks of you.

and "I won't be no silicon plastic Barbie doll"-some say is implying that all thin good looking people are fake.

I don't need songs like Anaconda and Booty on my playlist and I can sleep fine at night if I do cross All about that base off as well, but I hate all the controversity all of this seems to be causing. I can recommend some nice oldies, like, say, Destiny's child-Bootylicious or, of course, good ole Sir Mix Alot, to anyone willing to give the 90s a shot; also, for a more recent good message song, maybe Beyonce-Pretty hurts (my hospital room-mate played that one a lot as well).

Just don't be hateful and love yourself; life is much too short to worry and waste. Everyone has both beautiful and negative qualities and how you want to look should be based on your opinion only, not society's. Also, if you have a good heart, you're already perfect in my book. Chin up and be happy!

(Also, why can't we have encouraging songs about, say, noses?? I hate my nose!)

Sorry for the long ramble and if I offended anyone, I apologize deeply. My intentions weren't to bash anyone. If you like any of the songs I mentioned, I say, to each their own, and again, sorry if I said anything insulting. Let's just love eachother and get along, mmkay?

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to start replying to my messages and to grab a cup of coffee before I collapse on my keyboard.

Much love and thanks for putting up with me,

I'm terribly sorry, everyone-due to health issues which, as always, seem to kick up around this time of year I won't be online for a few weeks. I'll reply to your messages and notes when I make it back home, however right now, I'm being hospitalized due to kidney problems.

I'm in too much pain to function properly and when I'm on painkillers, I'm usually out for the whole day, so I can't really use the computer at the moment. I apologize and I hope to talk to all of you very soon. Miss you guys, keep me in your thoughts.

Much love and all the best,

I barely had 4 hours of sleep last night and right now I feel like shit. I've been chugging coffee like nobody's business all morning, which is just a heart attack waiting to happen.

Anyone have a remedy for insomnia I could try?
  • Watching: Hey Arnold!
  • Drinking: Coffee
Anyone willing to add me? Anyone?


amIdeadnow's Profile Picture
I love you...jk,go die in a cave
ID picture made by my amazing, sweet, extremely beautiful friend :iconshadowhimeneko: Check her out, she's very nice and very talented!

I am NOT my OC. by ThreadbareSP Anti-STAMP by Coloran RP Stamp by Grimsisters13 I Don't Care! by Operia F R E E D O M by Sydneyoreo You're Everything Stamp by NaruButt Help One Person Smile Stamp by Mirz123 Love is Love Stamp by openthesky Ginger Lovers Stamp by ryuchan Matt Stone + Trey Parker Stamp by SpiritLeTitan :thumb294083257: Rock Sugar Stamp by Twizzle-Cayline
Matt Stone Stamp 01 by stoopidsarahstamps Matt Stone Stamp 02 by stoopidsarahstamps coopnremernomnomstamp by StupidLittleCreature
Cloud Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Sean Berdy Fan Stamp by Kanzii dIfFeRenT by mylastel
Prolife Stamp by Elegant-Rose :thumb333687022: :thumb333874786: MrsSkellington1000 request by SirvanaRachana Worst wounds stamp by PleasurelyPainful :thumb272336678:
Characters created on another planet by KawaiiSteffu Devious Yakko Stamp by Twizzle-Cayline

Thea. Bisexual. Love my friends and would do anything for them; currently dating and living with the most beautiful girl in the world. Not much of an artist, a wanna-be writer, but an art appreciator. I'm doing my best to be nice and help, if you're rude to me, I'll either ignore you or just respond in the same manner.

Feel free to look around if you want and hey, talk to me, I'm usually friendly :)

I post songs that reflect my mood, thoughts or I'm just currently stuck on. Atm, this is pretty much what's going on inside my head:


Dear PX, I feel you are the one
What's your name? Where are you from?
I'm in love, though we never met
Looking for clues, I search the net

Dear PX, I'm waiting for your mail
Check every hour, to no avail
Been up all night, couldn't get to sleep
No way out, I'm in too deep

Dear PX, It's been eleven days
I'm kind of lost within this maze
Are you there? Give me but a sign
Are you at home? Are you on-line?

[Phideaux Xavier:]
Dear Simone, I'm sorry for the wait
I've seen your pics, you're looking great
I'm all alone, dying for a date
I think we match, it must be fate

[Simone Simons:]
Dear OL, I feel you are the one
What's your name? Where are you from?
I'm in love, though we never met
Looking for clues, I search the net

AdCast - Ads from the Community



Add a Comment:
ShadowHimeneko Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Digital Artist
C: Fame for amideadnow by ShadowHimeneko
amIdeadnow Featured By Owner 1 day ago
<333 Thank you so so much!!! Look at tiny Fame, she's so adorablee~

Pokechan13 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave. ;)
thergothon Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the favourite :-)
fantreasureplanetljs Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
myINQI Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm too late, I know... currently working on my residues. So now:
:iconbedanker: on Knoblauchsland by myINQI :hug:
amIdeadnow Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014
You're very welcome :) Thanks for the llama!
myINQI Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Pajunen Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the :+fav:
ninjawolfleader Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Student Photographer
Hey, havent spoken in a bit, what's up?
Add a Comment: